So this is another one of my troubled journals

And short.

Sorta.

When I feel sad, every action thatcould somehowmake a person sad makes me sad. Like.... Well. I'm
Like a character of mine, Benjamn. He will be hurt by words or not doing something and will say why it's all fine and comes up with reasons why it's fine. And then moves on. And then LATER confess it hadhurt.

The lastpart I can't really do though. I'll give hints but the moment Isay or mentionthat someoneelse might have had a little part in making me sad I get shut uped. So I Definately can't talk about this with people I know in person.

I'm blamed for being sad when an important comment (it was to me anyway) is ignored and so if I mention it... Oh. That means I'm sin and Definately can't be talked to at that moment.

I wonder, as I'm fallng asleep at my computer, if anyone would ask where I am if I just... Disappeared. I can never fall asleep at my computer. But it does make me wonder. M birthday is coming up andit's simply one year closer to death. Who would miss me? Many would say that they would but would they really? Am I someone who would be thought about a couple of months after my death? Probably not.

Life's short. And sometimes... That makes me happy.

So I'm depressed? Yes. I think I am. Does it matter? Yes? No. It's really simple a cycle that I will get out of if told off about being sad.

-from itouch